hi brent please bring bad word music cd must most bad word please brent bring cd music bad word please brent bring cd music bad word
If you made a robot out of pillows would he be nice? It's hard to imagine a mean pillow robot. And who came up with the idea of shaving their legs?
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
Just saw the pics you left in my phone. thanks for reminding me that last night was not a dream.
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Very excited! Vodka will be shot, dicks will be ridden, and memories made.
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
He wore the same cologne as my orthodontist so all I could think about was how I hadn't worn my retainer in months
Friday is the holy day of drinking. Thou shalt observe the Sabbath. It's in the bible. Look it up bitch.
So it's my mom's birthday and I wanted to be super cheap and just walk up to her and say "I got you the greatest gift ever, mom! I'm actually sober right now!".
I just want to meet a nice normal guy that doesn't want me to taze him while we have sex. . . . .is that too much to ask for?
i'm currently watching a guy eat a bunch of cacti and i have lost all faith in humanity
**cactuseses
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