Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
So Easter dinner for me was at 4:40 this morning where i made Bagel Bites and had a glass of Chardonnay
Dude, we're at Einstein's Bagels and the dude next to us is spreading cannabutter on his bagel.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
I worked so hard to shave everything last night. EVERYTHING. He WILL be answering my phone calls. Otherwise he's passing up awesome random birthday sex.
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
ok so i took my anxiety medication and i'm eating junior mints and i think my vagina will be ok
SCUSE ME I KNOW YOU DIDNT DO THAT MUCH COKE IN 10 MINUTES
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
I tried to fuck you in my bathroom while my parents were in the next room. I am a clusterfuck of fun.
Randomize
