It's a miracle Ok Typing texts toYou right now
I looooooove Saturdays!!!!!!!
I am absolutely hammered
I mean don't get me wrong, vaginas are terrifying, they look so sneaky with all their layers and secret compartments and trap doors
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
If it makes you feel any better, karma just served me up a big dose of fuck you.
if I'm at school tomorrow just indulge my moment of pity and let me cry on your shoulder
I will kick you in all of your body parts. All at once.
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
Fuck you fireball...just straight up fuck out of here
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
Do u have any idea how hard it is to masturbate in a CVS bathroom when your name is being called over the speakers to pick up a prescription for painkillers?
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
And then there was cum in my hair and he was making beans.
Randomize
