1. Mark my dj buddy and I spent $1000 on bottles last night
2. We were casually offered narcotics while walking down the street
3. I will still be awake when you start school tmw, cause there's no last call
So if any tells you miami is the same as the rest of america, there are just lying to you
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
A small cock is a small cock, don't blame the size of my hands
Just saying. If you end up in canada tomorrow morning at least youll have my text to remind you how it happened
At CVS buying just condoms. The guy behind me is buying just hotdog buns. There was a silent moment of understanding between us.
So i was told that i peed in the sink, had sex with a pillow and banged on a washer while singing idian chants
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Change of plans. Theres a bouncy castle setup in my apartment complex.
Freshman Move In Day, its like Christmas in August.
Dude, how the hell did you become an RA?
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
P.s. remind me to tell you about the porno that Paul envisioned starring you. It's wizard of oz themed.
I'm cutting her off I can't have my good name soiled with these kinds of shenanigans
Shit is preposterous
I guess the wine stains on your shirt and the $2 vodka tonics you're sweating out just scream, "Welcome to DC, please ask me for directions."
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
Randomize
