I need a man. I think Im going to put myself on Craigs list since they caught the killer and all.
Do it and if you add naked pictures youll get an instant reply
Omg. I just woke up in a room full of naked people
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
he is not the type of person you only have sex with once. god adds years to your life every time you sleep with him.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Even if you were sober, spitters are STILL quitters, end of story.
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
I just don't understand how she's willing to go through so much planning and effort just to get a dick inside of her
You can't Tinder AND have him bring you icecream in the same night. It messes with your vagina.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
That's good to know, because I will be doing terrible things to you. Terrible things, John, wicked, evil, maniacal things shall happen to you and I will have the audacity to call it sex
STILL COMPLETELY OKAY WITH THIS
You're so sweet in the most vulgar ways
Randomize
