You can come over, sure. But I'll be watching college hockey during the blow job.
She's "threw gas on the fire to put it out" drunk. Come retrieve ur gf. Ps she smells like burnt hair
Strike three, the fat brides maid they call shit puker also has herpes.
There was a tour on campus today, and there were two girls i went to high school with in the group. They saw me and ran up to me as i was unlocking my door. when i opened it, kate was laying in a pile of glitter and beer cans. We need to reevaluate.
its so sad we are done celebrating 21st bdays everytime one of us turned 21 everyone else got laid
My mouth taste like pussy and my dad noticed. Hahahaha
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
We just broke my bed mid-sex, laughed, then continued. If that isn't true love I don't know what is.
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I don't fucking know. He perched his parrot on his dick. I left after that.
Why is there multiple peanut butter and toasts stuck to the fridge door?
she told him my safe word. I'm gonna casually work it into conversation and at him suggestively to see if he realizes i want to have rough sex with him
Lmao. K I'll be 100% honest. I was over at your place like 12 hours ago with your roommate. If I hadn't of been there then I'd take you up on your booty call offer. So. If you're not creeped out another time please?
Why is everyone giving me a hard time for drinking?!
Your in the library.
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