i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
I just showed my boobs to our astate representative hahahahahahha
so i had a hang over on saturday and i stayed in the shower for 4 hours, then crawled out, skimpered to my bed, and some kid i didnt know was sleeping in it
shes a baton twirler.. i expected her to be better with her hands.
Made out with a girl in a wheelchair and rode her around while I was blackout. On a new level.
I was dressed as bob Ross as this occurred
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
my post shower fart this morning sounded like hulk ripping through a phonebook
No no no...you park the car, stick your tongue down his throat, slip your number in his pocket, invite him to insomnia, and THEN LEAVE. You go from awkward to epic in a matter of seconds.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
Split a bottle of Johnny Walker and then decided to eat a shit ton of peanut butter. That was a rough bed to wake up in
I'm totally going to bang the cable guy tonight. I'm so pumped
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
You walked into the frat house and screamed "whose down to fuck" i think they were more intimidated than anything
Those brownies did us in. I honestly blacked out completely.
What brownies? Ohmygod.
Randomize
