her bf's celebrating 10 yrs of service at kfc...it's safe to say all the good men are taken
My boobs grew. They knew we were going to vegas.
Tonight will bring shame to my future grandchildren.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
i know i said i'd always be there for you, but i'm beginning to think that what you call "being there for me" the american judicial system calls reckless endangerment.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
Bro... You handed me an ice cube from your drink and said "tell me if it tastes like pickles".
I'd recommend you leave that level of crazy to the experts. I'd start with an under appreciated soccer mom if I were you.
Dude he downed 9 shots of tequila, sang bohemian rhapsody with 3 randoms Wayne's world style, solo'd closing time, chased the hot bartender's dog all the way to main, tackled him, carried him back, hot bar tender hugged AND kissed him, then he does a jumping heel click and leaps into my car through the window. Next rounds free at the yeti. Needless to say your little brother is a tequila god.
Basically.
Nothing like waking up and watching Dr. Phil and masturbating. It's like a protein shake for the day.
yeah I had to wear a fucking diaper from work home so I didn't get the shitty squirts all over my cars seats it was fucked
I had to switch coats with someone at work because you can see the giant sex choke bruise on my neck. Being kinky is hard.
He took my necklace off while we were 69ing. His tongue never stopped moving either. Take that, guys who can't figure out how bras work.
You don't understand. This boy has the Mona Lisa of cocks.
You got drunk, made toast, and declared yourself a domestic goddess.
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