Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
5 years of college and never once did they teach us how to respond when you overhear a group of 7th grade boys who are in your class talking about how you're definitely DTF
children are so perceptive these days... and horny
We saw some woman wearing leather pants. It was weird. We have decided to follow her on her travels to see where people go in leather pants in Michigan.
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
You decided to make a porno with gummy bears and things went downhill from there.
Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
you kept yelling "this bitch stole my phone" to the guy who found you passed out in the parking lot
do you think its obvious that we spent all afternoon playing naked body oil twister?
I found my hair extensions. They were in my hamper.
How frowned upon is it to take your vibrator into the tanning bed...because Operation: dripping wet is in full swing and I have a busy schedule
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I don't get it. Why have babies when you can have vodka?
How long do I have to listen to him talk about the chickens before telling him I just really want to fuck? Note: it's already been twelve minutes.
Are you texting me while pooping again?
I'm also playing fetch with the dog
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