on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
I'm not sure what happened last night, but my turtle seems afraid of me.
Remind me to never go to the bar with your Asian friends again. I need to be able to read or pronounce what I'm drinking.
I just masturbated to the audio from my psych lecture . . . this screwing my prof fantasy is getting serious.
last nights episode of shot friends brought to you by polish vodka and flamingo baseball. pickles cure hangovers.
The TA leading my study session just said "now get outta here. I need to get drunk before class"
You should imdb "mourning wood" to see what I'm doing with my $80,000 English degree today
That and I was watching this life alert commercial and I'm pretty sure my liver turned up the volume for more information
Don't let me publish my memoir unless "hurt my ankle drunk irish dancing" is at least the title of a chapter because that is really the whole story of my life.
Can you send me the picture you took of me smoking a joint with the cat make-up on?
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
so on a scale from morning glass of wine to that time i burnt the garage down how drunk were you last night
About 'lets tie a boat to a truck and ride it down the freeway'
Randomize
