$1 pitcher night should be outlawed.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
not only did i soak my thesis by spilling celebratory shots on it, but i also stained it with lipstick making it obvious i tried to drink the vodka off it......dgaf, worth it.
she said and I quote "NO SOUP FOR YOU!!!" and closed her legs.
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Hey, if I'm gonna bastard a child and ruin his life, I'm going balls out.
I just want to return to LA when the weed and dick is plentiful.
Are you sure he's still you're boyfriend when you're sober?
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
I'm sitting here drinking whisky and listening to The Wiggles, I don't need a social life
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
