she asked me if i wanted her to take her wedding ring off while she was giving me a handjob.
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
There's a warrant out for his arrest for throwing a mannequin through a bus stop.
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
Can we talk about how i am holding a tupperware container of my own puke in the back of my grandparents car while my sister drives
The only people in the library at 5:00 on the friday after finals are homeless or pre-med.
I just wanted to be the best at what I did even if that included sexing a whole fraternity or sorority ya know?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
She wasn't one for labels or anything serious really but while she was riding me she yelled marry me. It's like she fucked her self into commitment lmao she realy is a keeper bro
I was doing good, then they gave me free shots
Not having a reliable dick in is getting expensive. I’ve had to replace 3 vibrators since Mike and I split up
If I slept with her my dick would come out glittery
coward.
Spotify says I’m in the top 1% of Indigo Girls fans worldwide. Didn’t know I would peak this early.
Aren’t you trying to seem...less lesbian?
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