Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
There's a dead frog in my kitchen?
Yeah, you found him outside and decided to give him a bath with your roommates electric toothbrush.
The worst part is that you sang Air Supply songs to him as you did it. Poor guy died in the middle of "Making love out of nothing at all"
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
She told me to "stuff her hole like a build-a-bear". I was so drunk I didn't even think that was weird.
I don't remember coming home but there is cereal EVERYWHERE
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
How do you feel about fucking me quick and then me leaving to go do arts and crafts?
If this week is any indication of my life here I've got to get out ASAP. My liver can't hack it.
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
A drunk hobo just gave me a fist bump. Because I know what a womb is.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
I forgot her safe word. It was a rough night.
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
Gotta go, there’s a chick at my door that wants to give me head
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