Don't you send me to vm
i just did my hair and make up to walk our dogs.. I hate being the single roommate
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
she is like cheap alcohol. you can only get so buzzed before you get sick.
sorry can't make it tonight, greg's getting back from italy. he's had two weeks of carbs and no gym; now's my chance to get myself a piece of that newly-fat, low self-esteemed ass.
whose ass print is on the piano?
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
Yup. Can I borrow your penis decanter for my Xmas party on Saturday
We can put you in charge of something
I can be in charge of being more wasted than anyone there so everyone feels comfortable being ridiculous
So while you were living in this woman's apartment, you acquired a room mate, fucked her daughter, and killed her bunny. Worst sitter ever
it was also funny because at one point I woke up with my hands tied with a belt and we were both like what the fuck
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
Well at least I will forever be known as the girl he ate out on the lifeguard stand while people walked by. On the first date.
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
Randomize
