I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
is it wrong that I want a "Where The Wild Things Are" tshirt that points to my junk?
she thought Martin Luther king was a president at one time. I love knowing I broke up with my ex and this is what he ends up dating.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
Is it sad that when she told me he has a small peen I felt like it made us more compatible?
I'm sorry I kept calling last night when you wouldn't pick up. I'm REALLY sorry I sang "You Oughta Know" on more than 4 voice mails.
I'm just high and in my robe and I would suck a dick for some pizza rolls. I can't talk about your problems right now
Just come here and visit. Enjoy the deliciousness of me being legal. Just don't think, and come here right meow. meow meow meow.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
Found another bruise from Saturday #stopliquor2014
You're acting like you didn't chug fireball, like duh you have bruises you drunk betch
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
He stopped mid sex to pour wine in my mouth...
Marry him.
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
Randomize
