A squiggle pen was my first vibrator back when I was young. I would lock myself in my bedroom with that thing. Oh to be 8 again.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
Last night I went to an anything but cups party. I took a hummingbird feeder. It was a terrible decision.
I really need to stop coming home drunk and lint rolling my rabbit.
every single time I see a picture of the two of them on facebook, I want to just call her and scream "your boyfriend said I give the best head on the east coast". But I've been told that would be inappropriate.
Apparently I told a girl last night, that's she's super beautiful and I don't want to fuck she just deserves being eaten out
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
it's like his dick is making a u-turn.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
I had a flashback of using my sock as a napkin after we got taco bell
FYI my mom is sending thanksgiving "samples" of her fancy pot stash for us this weekend. I bring the BEST family leftovers.
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
I was the only one in group sessions to bring up sex as a stress reliever. Some of those people were awfully judgy despite the fact we were all in a psych ward.
What happened to your back?
Rug burn. My ass is even worse.
Randomize
