Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
You were in the bathroom for two hours practicing "Revenge Faces".
he was CRYING into my vagina
I just took the soap out of the bathroom and hid it... this way I could see if she would say anything. you know, to see how clean she was
I just gave some chick my debit card to put in the jukebox. She better put out.
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
the fact that he forgave me for making out with the bartender is proof that i can fuck my way out of anything.
i'm going through an 80s music phase. and by phase i mean i will only have sex to white snake
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
I haven't included my nuts in a shave since the Shaq/kobe Lakers era. I gave my self the ol full court press in order to change the tempo.
This wouldn't be the first time my boss has seen me topless
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
