ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
In retrospect, getting to second base BEFORE anal wouldve been a good idea
I kept telling myself all night that it was completely okay for me to lose all sense of my morals because it was my birthday.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Just realized Ive had sex in or around each thing listed in Green Eggs and Ham besides the fox.
So me and him are making out, and the other two are on the couch behind us. he randomly stops kissing me and goes "oh god I think she just took off her shirt" I look behind me and I see her tits flapping up and down. This man has amazing senses..
I may or may not be wearing slippers and a TMNT hat. This thing better not have a dress code.
Let me begin to explain the rest of last night by beginning with saying that out if necessity I took a pair of your underwear
I love getting kicked out of places. Its like winning a little league game
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
Randomize
