great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I have two black x marks on my hands.
Yep you got cut off last night after a stripper bent over in front of you and you screamed very loudly 'I can see your soul from here'
damnit I wish I could remember that.
i think i have herpe
just one?
NEVER shave your cleavage hair.
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
This house was built for laser tag.
how can getting a pizza be this hard?
when you've been drinking 14 hours anythings impossible
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I don't know what happen last night but the fact that it's 9 am and I need to put my dick in something means it didn't go as planned.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Really because I got kicked out the eagles game for running up n down the steps singing ' fly eagles fly ' then punched a Dallas fan in the face before the game even started..
We've been staking out a taco bell for 2 hours trying to find last night's one night stand
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
i'm sitting in my room 'bout to smoke a bowl. also, i found out that you don't need a permit to own a tiger in wisconsin, so we're buying one when we move in together.
Randomize
