I like complaining with weaving words and complex sentences. It makes me seem more sophisticated and less bitchy.
Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
We tried. It's impossible to cum while bouncing on a trampoline. It's like trying to sneeze while keeping your eyes open.
Trying to figure out when's a good time to take acid and not tell anyone and see how long it takes people to notice
As the guy I'm having sex with on the side I shouldn't ask you how to dump my boyfriend. But you are the most emotionally detached person I know.
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ok so you know that's gonna be legally viewed as kidnapping, right?
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
You ruined me. I can't stop referring to everything outside as the "no-walls" ever since you showed me that video while I was tripping balls. My speech may be permanently altered for the rest of earth spins
I hope you gays don't get too crazy after DOMA. Gay divorces aren't any better than straight ones.
Apparently we stole a dog last night. I woke up and it was just staring at me. But we fed it left over KFC for breakfast so it's cool.
DESTROY DICK DECEMBER\nTHE SUN SHINES ON THE THIRSTY
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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