we had that weird still in bed morning after conversation. Her dad is the vp of my company.
but it happened after you broke up with me and before we made up.
I don't smoke a lot but now and then I do. Weed and I are like still standing naked in a bathroom together deciding if we should blow one another or bolt for the exit. An awkward relationship.
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
She eyed me up from across the bar and mouthed "I have no gag reflex".
the only way I will be happy is if my gallon spiderman bucket is full of either popcorn, nutella and peanut butter, or fried rice. CHOOSE WISELY.
So not the biggest tits he had his cock between. He could have lied.
WHY AM I CRAWLING IN OLDER MEN HOLY JESUS
I'm at a restaurant. I am NOT about to discuss my asshole over the phone.
Human centipede...with the teletubbies. That's what my nightmare had in it.
I don't even want to know.
Dude. I've been high for so many hours now that I'm just accepting this as my new reality.
What was my myspace song when I went away to rehab?
I feel as though I look like a mom with a substance abuse problem
If I ever say "I'm never drinking again" just hand me a bottle of jack. I'll snap out of it.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
Randomize
