respond to me or i'm telling everyone that you inserted a vodka soaked tampon into your anus
Remember back in the day when getting fingered in the movie theater was the best thing ever?
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
after that, he'll be sure to remember me. i'll probably forget him, but that's the way it should be.
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
I walked in, the bartender looked at me, grabbed 3 shot glasses and a pounder. Lined them up on the bar then made a line with salt on the other side of them and said I wasn't allowed to cross it.
Puke, feathers, beads, and solo cups all on my way to class. I'm surprised anyone's alive after this weekend.
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
You live 7 mins away and I'm leaving in 10 mins. At this point sex before work is impossible.
Challenge accepted. Be naked in 6 mins.
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
If there was a gecko involved in your BDSM I'm gonna have to request that not happen when we live together ;)
what are you getting to drink for new years?
well seeing as how i just got diagnosed with a uti, whatever we can mix with cranberry juice
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
Randomize
