just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
she had a concussion and she still scored nine points higher than me on the midterm
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
This is why I can't have Wednesdays.... Or adult decisions.
Will it make you feel better if we wear the title of dysfunctional fucking roommates? It requires monogamy unless we want to bang someone together.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
I just do things that aren't classy the classy way.
your mom was just petting me...I am strangely comfortable with it
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
I'm actually on the verge of cancelling a booty call because I have an early meeting tomorrow. If this is what adulthood is going to be like, I'll pass.
Hey. Did I get punched in the face last night?
Yeah. I told you I would and you didn't believe me.
So there we are, fucking beneath the Christmas tree and I glance up and see one of the local Jehovah's witnesses staring in horror through the decorative glass in the front door. I'm so proud of us.
Randomize
