you kept wiggling your finger at everybody at the party telling us this is how he fingered me. you seemed pretty upset about it.
I'm not sure how exactly, but this funeral has turned into a ridiculous night of drinking games
I brought up my Bobbly Flay drinking game in the interview. Of course I got the job.
You know me. Don't need roses, just dick and food.
They left at like 4. I got up to help clean their house this morning and we found his pants. No ones heard from him, we're all a little scared.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
That is true. Vodka is like a dog. Always loyal, warm, and there for you when you need it
Obviously you've never slept with someone who was deliverance level inbred.
The look on the dr's face when she asked me the last time i had sex and i responded "like an hour and a half ago" ... priceless
I may, or may not have licked his face in an Applebee's.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
Apparently I had 2 bloody noses and after my sis put me to bed at the hotel, I escaped and my sister's friend found me in an elevator with some guy
She did what?
Who. The correct term is she did who.
Did you see him? The correct term is definitely what.
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
what the fuck happened to the tacos
Randomize
