I'd suck a dick for hot wings now. A metaphoric dick that is
I've been sucking dick for sushi for weeks now...hasn't worked yet :P
and then he said that some chick told him he danced like an epileptic on crystal meth. he then proceeded to demonstrate this statement, which i can testify is 100% accurate.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Their wedding is on my 21st birthday. I fail to see a way that this could end poorly.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
I generally just try to vote by which candidate I think has the bigger dick. Sorry Romney.
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Poor guy. Tried so hard to get out of the friend zone. I had to make out with someone in front of him to put him in his place.
Randomize
