I had to fart so bad so i let it go hoping it would be quiet, it was loud and shit came out!!! and i couldnt leave because her parents were behind me
Just got roadhead in a driving snowstorm. That shit should be a Winter X games event.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
he laminated a picture of his dick.
Drug-sniffing dog walked past me and my suitcase in the train station. My opinion: they need a new dog
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
Marshall is naming all the elements of my face. I love science nerds.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I just masturbated and watched youtube makeup videos, which was just an extension of masturbation.
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
So you're not gonna be in town tonight?! Your dick was the light at the end of my academic tunnel!
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