you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
i kinda do this "flirt with girls and pretend to be a hot white guy named chris" thing
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
You sprayed lemon pledge on your crotch because it was "dusty"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
He caught a squirrel with his bare hands twice. Where do you find these people?
They turned motor-boating me into some kind of sick game
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
I know you're my sister, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have sex with one of your exes this weekend. He's probably not gay, but I'll let you know.
You're lucky you got out when you did, about an hour later the girl in the Franzia box started wrestling everyone.
But college guys get to crossfade so there's that
No idea what that is
Like getting bent? When you drink and smoke together...
I'm 30 stop using your cool kids words
Btw I did not technically have a dick in me but I was naked in bed with a man during the last finals game so that is why the Warriors won
Randomize
