Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
Remember that time i walked in on your friend taking a huge shit?
Remember that time you hooked up with him?
Oh. Im drinking alone in a banana costume. Every time youre feeling down, i want you to think of me right now and know that your life is better than mine.
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
i robbed the continental breakfast last night
Ever have those mornings where you just can't wait to puke in the shower?
I action rolled over a firepit. Twice. I am the action roll king
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
I knew I was rolling hard when I realized I had been rubbing the couch for an hour
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I need to puke. I need a shower. I need rehab. I need to detox and puke. I feel like demons are inside of me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
They're fighting and it sounds intense. Cross your fingers for their demise
Toss in some raw meat and play heavy metal music. It will insight violence.
Update: his apartment is apparently in the campus Christian community center. The fact that I fucked him on the couch in the lobby is officially my crowning life achievement.
She made me keep my boots on and say "you're welcome darlin" after every orgasm......so yes it was an awesome night.
Randomize
