chick flicks and taylor swift songs are like porn for desperate singles
so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
you wouldnt answer to anything but devil's advocate all night.
He sent me a pic of his Junk. He said it was a Brett Farve valentine.
You guys can't keep having sex with them and cleaning their house! They're never going to take you seriously!
I really want to text him and congratulate him on having a bigger penis than the guy I dumped him for, but I thought that might be awkward...
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Could have had sex with an ex NFL kicker last night.
That would've been embarrassing.
Please come over, I'm slowly melting into a ball of sexual frustration. If I'm not dead by the end of the day be very surprised.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I woke up naked wrapped in a wolf blanket on the bathroom floor
I sat on his face and watched Mean Girls. It was a good date.
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
We've been taking shots, cranking Marilyn Manson, and eating your bacon. Your kid is probably ruined.
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