If I'm having a dream where I'm having sex and I can actually feel it between my legs because I've had a lot of it recently, does that make me a whore?
I have a feeling this is a serious question. Problem solve, Jess.. I'm going to let you figure that one out on your own
when did my "fat clothes" just become my clothes...diet starts tomorrow
if tampons were more like dildos the world would be a better place
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
All three shower stalls were filled with couples fucking and then someone yelled "switch" and... We switched
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
And to celebrate the raising of our lord I just purchased a bunny buttplug. Am I doing this Easter thing right?
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
our moms work together...I can just see the conversation now, hey your daughter ruined my sons marriage, that's probably how it will start.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Replacing my paralegal is easy. Replacing my favorite office fuck toy is a totally different story. Damn him for wanting to better himself instead of being my manwhore
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