I seriously wish I was FB friends with her
how do flat chested girls get laid?
dude ... she has a full length mirror in her shower, don't even tell me shes not dtf
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
so all the bums hang out by my new store, they have a leader we call king bum... He got dethroned by police today for choking out a hooker. The bum heirarchy is in shambles right now.
Fun fact: Antibacterial soap will not take the combined smell of bbq sauce and vagina off your hands.
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
Beware of calls from Dad. I just had a longer than I would care to admit convo about the ididarod. Apparently it starts tomorrow.
he referred to his penis as the bashful dwarf from snow white
How bad is the voicemail?
You graded my boobs.... C minus. Asshole.
sorry to break it to you, but he's definitely fucking that other girl now...
I wish I still at least had the bruises on my ass to remember him by.
Opened my notebook to coke all over the pages. So, if that's any indication on how this weekend went.
I got home and found him passed out in my tank top so i think i'll put lipstick on him and mass text a picture to everyone in his phone. that's what he gets for eating all my wheat thins
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
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