wrigley field is MILF paradise
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
There's been so much talk around your vagina it's like a local celebrity
please dont tell anyone i was drunk
you were publicly making out with a very old very spandex covered woman...they know
Either you made a spaghetti vodka smoothie last night, or you puked in the blender.
Thanks for putting pants on me last night. And for calling me a princess.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
A special kind of bond is formed between two people when they act as a pee shield for one another for drunken pisses in an alleyway
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
I woke up to a gigantic ft-long tootsie roll and a note by drunk me with the words "you're welcome"
There are leaves in my underwear?
You tried to see how many socks you can stuff in yor mouth and I just put on a damp sock. Is this what bestfriends have come to these days???
just realized I'll be in a check out line with just Hershey syrup and condoms. I don't know if I am setting a good image for our generation
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