I wish I could test you the smell I just had to experience. It smelled like this lady was microwaving squirrel rectum.
I think he was having a seizure but nobody knew because 'what is love' was playing
VITAMINS IN VODKA. IM NOT LYING.
i'm pretty sure i just ruined some dude's romantic riverside sunset proposal by running outside and puking in a bush.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
just tell her a well fed dog doesnt stray far from the porch, and if that doesnt work just keep fucking her sisters
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
He simply fell in the fire, rolled out and continued to finish his bottle of vodka. Everyone else instantly sobered up just watching it.
Soooo we should kick it sometime when it's like light outside. Drink outta cups.. Be bitches. 7, 6, 3, 5.. 4, 2, 1... Sschhkiddaellladiieessscchk
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
Take your time. I'm mowing the lawn. In the dark. Drunk.
it'll be like a game of Russian Roulette, but with my vagina.
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Oh my God it's like my cock was dipped in lava
Randomize
