his penis was like watching paranormal activity your very hyped up to see it but you think it might be very scary and in the end you didnt really see anything at all
i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
I legitimately just tried to piss above my head. I got to my chest at highest. There's piss everywhere.
Crashed the mayor's bday party, no list for some reason. Wore suits. Ludacris was there.
That's the second time in a week someone has called me to talk drunk you into getting up off the floor. This needs to stop.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
There's nothing worse than carrying your fairy crown and wings home wearing fishnets
Just blowing bubbles with my nipple rings in my shower.
You always make things weird.
Chilling on my porch debating between pre work drinking or video games and getting high.
I need a full description of the guy I hooked up with. I don't think I ever saw his face
he seemed brazillian..
fuck.
Beans, may the odds of a nip slip and drunken make out session be ever in your favor
Getting a blow job while breaking up with my gf helps cope with the pain... Kinda weird her best friend is giving me the BJ
I need to hire someone full-time to slap food and dick away from me.
I'm actually really happy I can say that my first body shot was out of a gay strippers massively ripped chest
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