i'm listening to "transmissions" by The Tea Party from like '97 and waxing my legs. fuck i'm awesome in my alone time
So, we're in the car ready to fuck and she asks about my ex. I wave at my lap and say, "bye". She asks what I'm doing. I say, "waving goodbye to my erection"
Dude, 1 prime defect in the snuggie- you can't fuck someone discreetly under a snuggie. No way no how
He was a level 5 clinger dude i dont need to be told how ridiculously awesome i am all the time, if so id just hang out with my mom
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Also, at 1:30 I emailed myself saying, "are you there Margaret? It's me, god"
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
They found you popping and locking it alone in the parking lot
I know it's my dream I got hurt enough to leave work but not hurt enough to stop drinking
he just fucked me for my cheese..
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Randomize
