I really want to fuck my wifes sister.
is this the only place in the world where you can get shot on one side of town, and have to stop for cows crossing the street on the other side?
i just recognized the girl sitting across from me from a lesbian porno... should i ask for an autograph?
he found my favorite bra, 3 thongs and a pair of jeans and gave them back. i love move out day.
I think he finally resigned to the fact he could not get off. He just looked at me and said "I'm having testicle difficulties," rolled over and passed out.
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
the kid throwing up and laying face down on the deck just asked ME if I'M okay...
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Jsyk, in serious talks of trading blowjobs for soup in bed. I'm sober
He might not have any marketable talents, but the kid dry humps like no other.
Kellie accidentally ran into the car with two teenagers making out. made a big thud. there was a loud scream and she was gone...haven't seen her since
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
I'll have to start mass sending dong pics to get the recognition I deserve
She has the best kind of daddy issues
You drink too much. You cuss too much. You have questionable morals. You're everything I've ever wanted in a friend.
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