I totally give up. Optimus Prime just fell from the top of the Great Pyramid into the hypostyle hall at Karnak.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
He just stood there...Helen Keller and I could have had a more interesting conversation
I slept with some guy because he drew a dinosaur on my arm
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
He fucked me so hard I might have to go to the hospital for internal bleeding
Can I have him when you're done?
I figured out why her friends always say g is for god when she leaves with someone. She wears a double g cup bra
For once I want to have sex without having to google the after effects of it.
Just talked a homeless guy out of suicide. Was rewarded with a garbage bag full of mountain dew bottles and zannies. Im such a good person
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
You cannot meet up with him at the tailgate, his parents are there. What are you going to say "Hi I'm the one who fucks your son, can I get a cheeseburger?"
Just wanted to say, I appreciate your bravery in having read receipts
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
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