tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
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Looks like an M-80 went off in a lb. of pastrami
she looked like the before picture.
I wouldn't really call it 'getting lucky' considering I paid her to do it.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
I just took my friends on a tour of all the places I've had sex in my house. I dont know if that's more slutty, or the fact that it took 2 hours to complete..
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
We're already drunk. 4 hours to go still. And there's a bear advisory. TOP WEEKEND.
Can't a woman sleep on the floor in her own apartment in peace without being judged?
I got my little bro high for the first time... Turns out the two of us stoned together is a mess. We spent 10 minutes trying to communicate with each other using just our eyebrows.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
I'm not gay but if a lesbian wants to eat my box out I'm not gonna say no to someone who knows what they're doing.
So I got this new job… ever been fucked in a corner office before?
His acid is intense dude. I was just over at his place laughing about the hole in the wall I was convinced was a cat
If I don't wake up tomorrow you inherit my paycheck and can only spend it at cinnabon
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