My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
Anything crazier than usual happen? I woke up in a stairway with my cock out.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
I spent all night sexting your girlfriend for you because you were too drunk. You're welcome.
It's never good when you wake up covered with burns
I would say I am sorry for punching you last night, but I found the pictures you took on my camera and it all came rushing back.
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
Night. I'll wake u up at 6 with the unfinnished vodka bottle so be prepared young grasshoper. U have much to learn.
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
If you need anything just hit me up
Pancakes
Noted.
Never go with a hippy to a second location. I fucking hate Xanax.
how do you always get into these "we banged the same dude now lets be friends" situations???
I'm proud of you for choosing to be an organ donor on your fake!!
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
Well I just had a flashback of something I did in the 4th grade. Now I can't go back to sleep.
Randomize
