I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
I'm so excited for this wedding, I feel like a school girl about to get finger launched on the dance floor at the sadie hawkins dance
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
You told me to pour the Gatorade on you "like Flashdance"
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
I don't �care how much you're grieving �a loss, masturbating off the side of a roof is not acceptable mourning behavior.�
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
Im pretty sure my housekeeper high fived her on the way out this morning
you're the third guy in less than 24 hours she fucked. I'm glad you lost your virginity just don't act like you climbed Mt. Everest.
you called me drunk last night to talk about summoning sex demons with magic WTF
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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