I have way too many pictures of poop on my phone
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i just googled the alphabet. i couldnt remember if it was jklomnop or jklmnop.
turns out they were just sand fleas, not crabs.. thank you random mexican girl from padre who's name i can't pronounce
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
what whaaaat?! I BET YOU WIN IN THE TEETH DEPARTMENT.
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
I just scored a new eye doctor and a date all in one email. BOOM!
I can only rely on you and Taco Bell
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
How drunk are you?
Completed.
Your boobs are like a folk legend.
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
Randomize
