I hate the awkward morning-after-I-took-your-virginity conversations.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
Jerking off has been your answer to everything tonight.
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
He said hes taking shrooms and watching jurassic park so we're making a t-rex costume
we need ur ladder
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
I was informed that last night we held hands while puking on the curb outside the bar.
We just have a real special relationship.
you were trying to convince me that you weren't drunk by grabbing my shoulders, looking deeply into my eyes and saying "i can see your sparkle"
Drunk puking in my bathtub has plugged it up for the third time this year. I hate these calls to my landlord.
Doing a circuit workout and using a power hour playlist for my 1 minute timers. I am getting old. creative, but old.
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
He asked if I was going to squirt out my bday candles. I'm glad the perversion doesn't stop for special occasions.
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
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