hey no worries the mystery has been solved- i jst sneezed and my undies popped outta my nose.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
I kept reassuring him that I was easy like Sunday morning, not easy like "I've had 6 shots of tequila and haven't had sex in three months"
so i guess now we know you can get away with peeing mere feet from the Capitol if you shout IM PREGNANT at the guards
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Question: If I got in a car accident and lost my memory of us, would you work your way back just so we could be fuck buddies again?
I'm watching The Vow and just need to know that I'm loved in some way
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Responsible things to do when you're too hungover to get out of bed: Breast self exam.
Randomize
