So my shaver died while I was trimming...ya know. And now it is half way done. I don't think there's currently any aesthetic in keeping it this way...
and I was crying with the towel lady in the bathroom of the bar about the tragedy in Haiti. Then we hugged before I left and I gave her 10 dollars.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
So the guy who is making our IDs is in jail now for attempted murder, with no bail...
So no fakes?
Love me.
GO THE FUCK TO BED IT'S 3AM I AM NOT TAKING YOU TO MCDONALDS.
Just for one nugget?
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
Zak is like the Picasso of masterbatory texts
My Midnight Kiss was a Big Mac.. Happy New Year
Who the fuck gets injured on a merry-go-round? HOW IS IT POSSIBLE??
Never go drinking with anime club. End of story.
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
Do you know who changed all my phone contacts into characters from Harry Potter?
He Who Must Not Be Named.
Fuck you.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
