i mean he wasn't bad looking, but i wouldn't have slept with my professor if i knew everyone would get an A
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
Miller High Life will be the death of me. Well, that and shower sex.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
He tried to take a picture of me naked but only got my ass. I don't know his name but if my butt is a guys wallpaper, that's the one I boned.
Also, since I switched back to this phone I've found a crop of dick pics and your funeral arrangements.
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
Hypothetically speaking, when I get a sugar glider would it be frowned upon to bring it Ito classes with me in m pocket?
Every time we have sex, I feel his dick ramming my soul into submission. Problem is..... I LIKE THAT SHIT!
i am also 80% sure that my shirt glows in the dark.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
Randomize
