just checked my call log and realized that we talked for 3 mns. what did i say for that long?
pretty standard. you have fun last night?
apparently....what exactly does 'pretty standard' mean?
typical hot then cold, followed by a death threat.
You screamed, "I am going to fuck this cheeseburger". They all started laughing until you actually started having sex with the cheeseburger.
No, I'm never going to get a job bc I don't know anything about public relations except that Chris Crocker wants everyone to leave Britney alone.
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
No, I stopped taking my meds because I like crazy me better
I hope this adventure ends at a hospital
this weekend destroyed me...my brain feels like the curly fry at the bottom of the bag. GAhhh come save me
that's ecstasy for ya. now I'm kinda in the mood for jack in the box.
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
In complete seriousness I think I am the highest person on earth
Well she described you as a "Sex-Viking", which seemed to be only slightly related to the red beard. So things are looking good!
I don't know what happened. His phone, shirt, shoes, and the condom wrapper are here but he isn't. I don't even know how to get a hold of him right now
last thing I remember is yelling 'sit on my face' through a traffic cone
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Like, I don't need to know your life dude. I just need you to suck my tits.
Randomize
