i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
Brought out my three foot martini glass last night, that explains why I haven't left my bed all day long.
He has to watch his girlfriends kitten. Even when she is in Vegas, her pussy keeps him from getting into mine.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I couldn't find the bathroom last night...so I wrapped myself in the curtains and stuck my butt out the window and peed from two stories up. Thank god I don't remember.
My last two google searches are "shiny things" and "Ohio consent laws." you should visit more often.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I need a genital shamwow being this wet.
I didn't want sex last night, but she charmed my dick out of my pants like a snake charmer.
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
You were in no condition to manage a 3-way.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I don't remember anything from last night, but at track I found my thong next to the high jump pit... So it must has been decent
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