You can't motorboat a personality
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
so, not only did she give him head while i was asleep next to them, apparently, it was bad head...
Are you serious?
yeah... as often as she does that, you'd think she'd be good at it...
She just called to say she can support a full bottle of vodka between "the girls" now. I'm going over, don't try and stop me.
I'm here to help build your repertoire of drunken shenanigans and I should have been arrested stories
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
There is a chick at the bar in a bumble bee onesie, complete with wings. Yeah, I must be back in Seattle.
Hot dogs and hydrocodine is NOT the combo of champions
Her tutu was on the floor and she wouldn't take off her crown. She kept saying you're fucking a princess!
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
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