Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
We were busted for public indecency in the back of my car in the parking lot. This time we were just reading my Cosmo magazine.
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I'm taking it from the chunk of pizza I just pulled out my hair that we ate pizza last night?
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
there is something about beer and popsicles that make the world go round
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
We haven't been trashed enough to shut down a bar together in four days. I'm starting to worry that we're growing apart.
I have to choose between charging my phone or my vibrator. This is bullshit.
Sitting in my junior high parking lot high on ambien talking to a stranger I met on tinder. What is life?
Randomize
