Please advise as to how precisely ashamed I should be if I just became sexually aroused by a Harry Potter and the Half Blood Prince preview
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
worse things have happened to me. but if it will make you feel better you can pay for my therapist sessions next week.
These guys are walking up and down the hallway yelling, "Yo, is this the floor with the unisex bathroom?"
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Warning: at some point today you will probably see several pics of me 69-ing a blow up turtle show up on facebook. Just disregard them.
You said your face felt like it was made out out of boxes and kept asking me to give you a bath.
I am currently explaining what double penetration is to the bridesmaid I hooked up with at my cousin's wedding. This is my life.
I have reached the state of intoxication where it is now a requirement to sit while peeing.
and then we all passionately sang "what if god was one of us" until everyone passed out in the grass
he looked at me and said 'happiness is a warm blanket' then stole my vodka.
I tried to open a bottle of wine with toenail clippers last night. So this morning was obviously rough.
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I attempted to walk home at 5:30 this morning cuz i was mad at him cuz he didn't want to cuddle and didn't have pizza. I got 3 houses down n fell over.
Randomize
