Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
Have you come up with a team name for the beer pong tournament on Saturday?
We can be the stepdads. If anyone asks why say because we beat you and you hate us.
operation have a gay friend backfired
I've broken several federal laws in the name of sex.
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
she kept her crown on the whole time i was giving her birthday sex
nothing says roomie bonding better than a sunday shroom trip.
We're pregaming our midterms. Also, when we get our tests back, we're taking a shot for every point we lost. If you're not in, you should just go ahead and transfer.
Every time I stand up, gravity punches me in the tits. This is horrible.
They actually said and I quote "it definitely looks like your knees went through some over usage"
Also, I'm sat on the floor drinking cava because life is just not working for me tonight.
Well I can cross being naked in a minivan off the list
I'm getting a car wash man. I am go get a car wash high.
Why did I wake up with BYOB sharpied on my stomach
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
Randomize
