He never called back after I emailed him my booty call contract.
so he must've not known that your lastname is Came because everytime someone would say your name he would scream "NO SHE DIDNT" to the whole party. He must've not been too good then either.
Just when you think you're never going to have sex again, BOOM you're naked in bed with a guatemalan
my mom just cut me up lemons and limes so i would have some vitamins with my tequlia
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's Friday afternoon and I'm drunk. This is how I cope.
Haha, oh man. I'm awake now. Slept in my headdress.
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
How external is "for external use only"?
You kept trying to use my cat as a napkin.
BoomCity!!!
You don't have to text me that every time you have sex. I already heard you ring the gong.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
2 girls slept in my bed with me. 3 more girls slept on a mattress on my floor. The furthest I got was cuddling. Here's my man card.
He carried you out but the best part is you kept saying "can't I keep dancing" as you were gushing blood
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Randomize
