I won a flip cup tournbment! Why is boot and rally so hard when youre old?
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
i just wasnt prepared to have the baby of one of two french firemen. threesomes are too confusing.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I vaguely remember you trying to make me a casserole with marshmallows and a can of beer.
Im calling him
was mistake calling. If you drunk dial someone you deserve to choke on a tubesock. Take the advice. Always remember
My one night stand from last night is currently mowing my lawn for me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
Naw dude theres seriously a lobster in my sock drawer. Why?
Nothing says hangover like being in the doctors office getting a tampon removed from deep inside
Who else has a jello penis in their fridge?!
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
Randomize
