You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
She rolled a blunt with one hand...and instantly I had a boner, I'm going to marry this girl.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He just found another high guy at wal-mart. There now friends. His friend is eating a cupcake
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You made her yell her own name while you were fucking so that you would remember it in the morning.
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
This girl is wasted dancing to The Final Countdown. She's grinding on a guy who came to the bar in a track jacket and a wife beater
I made him fuck me with my coat zipped up and a unicorn mask on. That level of drunk sex. Weird and creepy yet highly satisfying.
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
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