i'm gonna start putting 34DD under other qualifications on my bartender applications and see if that helps
I'm already mentally preparing myself for the fact that I'll probably be sleeping next to a toilet.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
My public calorie counter app is pretty much just a cry for help.
It's been two days. I am still burping up jello. Everything tastes like jello. Everything smells like jello. I am DONE with jello shots.
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
Holy high batman
The hairdryer was like a fuckin obstacle course
Yeah, I fucked him. and the worst part is his name was Jesus. And nobody said it in Spanish. Just Jesus. There is no way I can avoid burning when I walk into a church from now on.
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
After a while I was so wet that I started crying. HE MADE ME SO HORNY I WEPT.
my poor anus
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
I love how we can bond over the fact that we're the only ones who think the guy I drunk hooked up with looks like Voldemort
I want to get drunk and watch somebody else's tragedy.
Randomize
